When Your Body Turns on You...

(I've noticed that my posts are getting quite embarrassing.. and yet I keep writing them...???)

I'm almost at my goal weight (woot woot!), and I have recently set some new goals. My first mini goal is to be able to run for 30 minutes without stopping. I've been working towards it for about 3 or 4 weeks now.

 Here's what happened to me last night.

 I decided to not look at my watch until I simply couldn't run anymore. I was just going to run and run and run until my body said, "Nope.. no more." So I off I went, thinking about the music playing on my iPod and how badly I needed new songs. I was getting pretty tired, and figured I had been runing for at least 20 minutes. I look down at my watch. 11 minutes.

"What?" I said to myself, "I'm exhausted! 11 minutes?? Okay, body, let's make it to 15 minutes and then we'll take a break." "Okay, 15 minutes," it replied back to me.

We did it. And at 15 minutes, Body was getting really stiff, but I convinced it we could make it 18 minutes. "Okay, 18 minutes, and then we're taking a break," it said to me.

At 18 minutes, I convinced my weary body that we could make it to 20 minutes. "Once we reach 20 minutes, I promise, Body, that we'll call it quits. We can just pass out right here in the road if you'd like." "Okay," it replied, "20 minutes and then we can pass out."

We made it to 20 minutes! Body and I were both pretty exhausted. "Ready to quit, Body?" I asked while preparing to slow down to a walk. Then it happened. My body turned on me. I had a very strange senstation. Body said to me, "Destiny, if we stop now, we're going to pee all over ourselves. You'd better keep running till we make it to the bathroom!!!!!"

So we did. We ran 2 more minutes, straight into the house, scaring both my husband and my daughter, right into the bathroom.

Today, Body and I are very sore. But the good news is A) We ran for an entire 22 minutes, which is my longest stretch yet! and B) I didn't pee on myself! :-D

Confessions of a Home Wrecker: How and Why I Sabotaged the Relationship between "Bill" and "Jill"

(This is from my blog on MFP)

Bill and Jill, we’ll call them for now. We all grew up together, and they were two peas in a pod. I watched them change during puberty, and then, during my High School years, I noticed they started getting pretty close. I didn’t like it. But instead of doing something right away, I just kept thinking everything would work out on its own. Boy was I wrong.

After graduation, we went to college. The relationship between them grew even more, and they kept getting closer and closer. Why did I not like the idea of them being together? It just wasn’t right. I had a gut feeling that I would NEVER be happy unless they went their separate ways. Why, I repeat WHY, didn’t I do something about it then!? I don’t know… Instead, I just kept pushing my feelings to the side.

Then one day, about three years ago, it happened. I caught them together. You know what I mean? Like… together—EEEK! How embarrassing that was for me. They didn’t even mind that I was right there, watching them! I could see their skin sticking together, all sweaty... EWW.

Over the next few years, I started ignoring them altogether. No, I wasn’t happy, AT ALL. I was miserable. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. It seemed to me that they’d always be together and that it was too late for me to do anything. Then I got married to an amazing man. And yet, there they were, Bill and Jill, closer than ever, rubbing it in my face that I had missed my chance to break them up. Why wasn’t I happy!? 5 months after getting married, I got pregnant. And you know what? They became inseparable. It seemed like they were stuck together like glue. BLEH. Made me wanna puke.

After my pregnancy, I’d had enough of them two. I decided I didn’t care what anyone else thought, I was ending their relationship. And the more I would see them, you know, “together,” (they were constantly “rubbing” against each other—even in public!) it just added fuel to the fire. I was determined, but it was still one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I DID IT. I put an end to their stupid little relationship, and, now, they will never be together like that again. They may still be closer than I like, but I’m going to keep pushing and pushing until I’m satisfied.

Want to know their real names? Ladies and gentlemen, meet Bill, my left thigh, and Jill, my right thigh. As of this morning, July 22, 2011, I stepped out of the shower, stood in front of the mirror, and realized that my thighs were no longer touching.

I have officially won.

And what exactly did you think I was talking about!?