Thursday, May 16, 2013

Why Do I Run?

When I was younger, I thought running was stupid.
I thought people who run do it out of vanity.
To look good.
For bragging rights.
To be able to say, "I am a runner, hear me roar."

I even joined them a few times.
Run a mile here, run a mile there.
Call myself a "runner" because one mile seemed like a long way.
One mile?

But even then, I thought it was stupid.
It hurt. It made me sweat. It made me tired. 
And I always ended up in the same place I started.
It seemed a little unproductive.

But then I had a baby.
And my body changed.
And it jiggled. 
And I wept.
And I decided running was suppose to help.

And so I ran.

It hurt. It made me sweat. It made me tired.
The first day I jogged 5 minutes before breaking down.
I cried in the middle of the street.
I couldn't believe how hard it was.
Not even a mile. One mile.

But I kept doing it, day after day.
It wasn't fun.
For a long time I dreaded it. 

But it helped!
My body changed, this time for the better.
It no longer jiggled.
I no longer wept.

"So why keep going?" I thought.
So I stopped.

But then my newborn baby cried.
He cried a lot.
He had colic.
And ear problems.
I was stressed beyond belief.

Sometimes I cried, too.
It was so hard.
He cried and cried and I cried and cried.
Sometimes I felt like I was at the end of my rope.
Sometimes I needed a break.

And so I ran.

I ran because it cleared my head.
I ran to expel my frustration.
I ran to sweat. To breath.
To relieve stress.

It still hurt, but I appreciated the ability to feel pain.
With every drop of sweat, I felt relief. 

One day I realized I'd changed. 
I felt giddy anticipation before each run.
I didn't dread it.
One mile. Two miles. Three miles.

Four. Five. Six. Seven...
I haven't stopped since. 
I don't want to. 

Why do I run? 

I run to look good. I run so I can eat more!
I run to experience the utter exhaustion at the end. 
I run to feel my heart pumping vigorously,
pumping blood throughout my body.
Pumping life throughout my body.

I run to relieve stress. Anger. 
I run because someday I'll be old
and I'll look back and wish I had taken advantage
of these legs, these muscles. My health. Youth.

The world looks different when you run. 
It looks bigger. Brighter. Majestic.
I run to experience the beauty in it all.
I run for my mind.
My soul.

Why do I run?

For Me.

No comments:

Post a Comment