Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Devil's Real Name is "Hostess"

Yesterday: I forgot to bring my lunch to work so what else was I to do but raid the vending machine? You know what looked healthy? The jumbo sized Hostess honey bun. So I put in my 3 quarters and then watched as my lunch got jammed in the machine. WHY does this always happen to me!? It was hanging on for dear life by a thread. I tried wiggling the machine. I tried kicking it. I tried talking to the honey bun to let loose. It didn't. I couldn't just leave it there, right? What other options were there? I dug around for 3 more quarters and repeated the process. My precious honey bun finally let go! And then the other one I'd just paid for got stuck. What is it with these honey buns!?!?

The second honey bun didn't latch on quite like the first and I was able to wiggle the machine enough to make it let go. HA, you're mine now!! TWO HONEY BUNS ALL TO MYSELF.

I went back to my office and ate one of my jumbo honey buns for lunch. Afterwards I decided to dig the wrapper out of the trash to see how many calories I'd devoured. 550, ouch. I'm not going to lie, I really wanted to eat the other one too. But I didn't; I stuck it in my desk drawer for later.

TODAY IS LATER. That stupid jumbo honey bun has been taunting me alllllll day long. I honestly have no idea how I resisted but I did. It was pure torture. I even took it out and stared at it for a few minutes and then decided to have a coffee to try and curb my craving. Luckily it worked pretty well. 

I'll just have to go through all the taunting again tomorrow. THIS is why I try not to bring quarters to work.

Stop licking your computer screen.

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